Overcoming Masturbation: by Meco Masturbation.

masterThis is the thing that many people do but don’t really talk about, especially women. It’s looked on as not ladylike and not pure. It’s a shameful thing for many women and men alike. I struggled with masturbation for many years but this wasn’t the only sexually immoral thing that I was enslaved to. I started masturbating as early as 7th or 8th grade, but overall my imprisonment to lust started as early as 4 or 5 years of age. When I was a little girl, I had a friend that I played with. Something must have happened to her because it was from playing with her that I had my first sexual experience. After this one time experience I wasn’t the same and I developed homosexual tendencies as well. The seed of lust was planted and grew to maturity in my heart. I went from “humping” the floors, to sexually stimulate myself, to full on masturbation, which became my most shameful secret. The frequency to which I masturbated and the degree to which I did it was so bad that I actually ended up tearing the tissue on my clitoris. This sent me into depression for months because I thought I had mutilated myself. I had contemplated suicide because of it but I still didn’t stop. The real battle began for me when I desired freedom. In the summer of 2005, while on a mission project, God began to work in my life. When I was there, I met a woman named Kate, who shared her testimony of being delivered from masturbation. This was huge news for me because, untill that point, I had believed that I was the only one in the world who did it. Somehow I bought into the lie that I’d never be free and that if I ever told anybody what I’d been doing nobody would love me or at least they wouldn’t look at me the same way. I had a lot to confess. You see I was enslaved not only to masturbation but to pornography, sexual fantasies, and a lot of other things I wanted to keep on the dark. During the days that followed, God was pressing me to bring it to the light, to confess it. Fear was also there with me. You see, I was afraid to expose myself. This fear wrapped around me like a boa constrictor in order to keep my mouth shut. I was so shamed and afraid of being condemned that I’d be scared to write my struggle with masturbation in my journal because I feared someone would find it. I was in torment. I heard a message that talked about keeping things in the dark. That was the word I needed and I had courage to tell somebody. The first person I told was Kate. Next, I told my roommate and few other girls at the project. I later confessed it my own sister, but this confession was only half the battle. Then I tried to break free, I found that those same desires tracked me down like a Mississippi Slave catcher. I had never had so much temptation to sin by masturbating in my whole life. I kept giving in and giving in. It was hard to last one day, much less two, without doing it. This lasted from June 2005 to September 2005. Until for 2 and half months, I managed to stop. Temptations were strong. There were times I’d have to run out of my dorm room or find a public place to be in because I couldn’t be alone when I was tempted. This was huge for me because I was used to falling to this sin daily. However, I backslide due to unforgiveness. Sin had a snow ball effect in my life after that because an old habit had revived. Old habits revived because old reasons why I masturbated revived too. I’d masturbate like people eat comfort food. I’d do it because I was bored or upset. It was like how an alcoholic drink is to a drunk— I’d do it to forget. When I fell after a time of victory, I was constantly taunted with: “See you’ll never be free. You’re always going to be like this.” This sin would seduce me to lay with it then condemn me when I did. I’d struggle trying to go to God. I felt so dirty and so full of despair after I gave in to my own sinful lust, that I’d pull the cover over myself to hide. I didn’t want God to look at my filth. I hated it. It was like an abusive relationship that I couldn’t get out of and didn’t know how. I was losing hope. This lasted from late December 2005 to May 2006. After this, I run into a ministry that talked about being free from sin. The victory for me came one day as fear was telling me “you may have stopped for now. But you will fall” But God helped me realize something that I hadn’t before when He told me “You never have to do it again.” I never knew I was free from sin. That I actually had a choice. Therefore, I never had to do it anymore. The reason why I have that choice is because of Christ who has made me free from sin. I didn’t have to perform every whim of my own sinful desires. Now I’ve been free for 2 and a half years. I’m free to talk about it. I thought I’d go to my grave with this sin. If your dealing with this, you need to confess it to God, confess everything. God is so serious about this sin . He said ” if your eye—even your good eye —causes you to lust, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. ” ( Matthew 5:29) and in Job 31:11 its says” For lust is a shameful sin,a crime that should be punished. The heart of lust is so wicked. In Romans 3, its says that people didn’t want to honor God as God. One of the firsts sins it lists after that is sexual sin. Its a form of self worship. Its may sound crazy but think about this, why do we watch people sin sexually or even ourselves sin sexaully? I ‘d get that hot and heavy feeling from just watching myself masturbate, from sexually admiring some other part of my body, or from watching porn. . In my heart was rebelling against God because I really wanted to be God, you know, do what felt right to me. That’s the heart of this sin. Please don’t take this lightly. Self worshippers and sexually immoral will end up in Hell. But those that agree with God, who confess and forsake it, will have mercy.

Related Posts:

Ten Days Of Sex

Day 1 of Sex : The Master Bait – Masturbation by Dr Ty

Day 2 of Sex : Is it possible to stop being gay?

Day 3 of Sex : Say No to Pornography and Sexual Sin – John Piper

Day 4 of Sex : The Master Bait Part 2 – The Madness, The Misery of Masturbation

Day 5 of Sex : Homosexual Questions Uncovered | Passion for Christ Movement – P4CM.com

Day 7 of Sex : Battling Pornography and how the gospel conquers it

Day 8 of Sex : The Master Bait – Part 4: Dameco EX-Masturbator Testimony

Day 9 of Sex : What would you say to a man wanting to sleep with his girlfriend?

Day 10 of Sex : Joshua Harris – Don’t Waste Your Sexuality

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Comments
  1. spicewriter says:

    I thank you for your testimony-if God can do it in you,He can do it in all the men and women who struggle with it.Amen!

  2. sister says:

    thank you my sister for your testimony it s touch me so much because i have the same problem and i m christian too.i m a singer in my church and i don´t know what to do because i love my God and i can´t stop to do this ugly think but what i know is the grace of God will delivre me.thank you

  3. Ryan says:

    Thank you for sharing your story with all of us. As someone who has been going through the same struggle, I can relate to the feelings of shame and hopelessness that masturbation creates. You have given me encouragement in my own struggle. Thank you and God bless.

  4. Esther says:

    Thank you for sharing your story. I have been struggling with this since 2006. I overcame it for a while but then started it little by little and now, its like I do it quite often. My boyfriend recently broke up with me because I said we couldn’t have sex so I feel more condemned coz its like am just a hypocrite. I cant share it with anybody I know. Thanx and God bless

  5. Captain Tommy says:

    I have two questions.
    1. Where can I get one of those tee shirts?
    2. Does anal count as sex?

  6. Alan Higgins says:

    1. You can got to P4CM.com for links for the t shirts
    2. Are you asking because you want to know or are you asking because you want some justification? What does your conscious tell you?

  7. tellerofthereal truth says:

    masturbation is NOT a sin. it has NEVER been a sin.

    onan’s sin was to EXPLOIT his brother’s widow. if the parable was about masturbation then why was she even involved??

    having intercourse with a woman is NOT even masturbation!!

    as usual the patriarchy ignores the practical RAPE of the woman who was obliged under tribal law to sleep with her husband’s brother to produce CHILDREN!! onan used her under false pretenses.

    PLEASE get your facts right.

    like the evil eye you give to nudity … remember adam and eve were nude when they were being GOOD!!!

    WEARING CLOTHES was the proof they were bad. you have everything back to front.

    god couldn’t care less about us playing with ourselves. we’re not hurting anybody. and look at what priests get up to when they don’t get to spit the winkle regularly! they start fiddling with altar boys (when they’re not busy bashing the crap out of them).

    vilifying masturbation is vilifying the natural .. which is telling god he didn’t know what he was doing. are you really that arrogant??

  8. Alan Higgins says:

    Who said nudity was a sin? When you are playing with yourself, what is going throught your mind? Is your god the God of the bible or have you made one up to suit your sin

  9. tika says:

    thank u my sister u confartion was so toching many people denys that to masterbate is a sin but is it u realy made me realise that i have a proble i will do wat ever it takes to over come this sin corse god loves me i am a cristian and many people respect me but i dont because i am a siner i want to co come aout of this sin

  10. Minister says:

    Thank you for sharing. For so long I wanted to write down how I was feeling but didn’t have the words. You have truly captured my heart. I am woman dealing with this and in a position of highly visible leadership in my church. I have confessed before but still struggled and thought I would be forever bound because of it. You have made me realize that I can truly be free in Christ. Thank you.

  11. HUDSON says:

    Tsk, tsk, tsk. No god will punish you by masturbation because that ghost does not exists. If you like to masturbate, go ahead, sister, but is better take a man. Your body is YOURS, no sin. Nobody needs to know the sexual practices you did or do with that. The t-shirt is simply ridiculous…

  12. I have been having this masterbation problem and it is hard to quit…if masterbation is a sin i want to conquer it, but if it isnt then why not. People say masturbation is good and healthy but others say it makes god upset. I need to find the truth so i will meet demi lovato and GO TO HEAVEN. I am a cristian and will try out the directions for overcoming masturbation..everyone can do it! :)

    • Karl Diaz says:

      Masturbation is a sin and if you’re a Christian who you gonna listen to the world or God? if they say its healthy that’s the devil talkin. Just Think about what’s going through your mind during masturbation- its Lust. Bible clearly says that lusting is a sin. SO get off that Philippians 4:13 ” i can do all things through Christ who gives me the strength” and 1 corinthians 1:8 ” he will keep you strong till the end so that you will be blameless in the day of the lord Jesus Christ”. If your eye causes you to sin gouge it out. Meaning you should take away anything that causes you to lust

  13. marcus says:

    Thanks for your testimony. I have been trying to get free myself and always fail and sometimes i wonder if I could. I feel terrible with the shame and guilt. I am a christain and love God, but I fail in this aspect. Please if you can tell me more about how you finally left it I will be very happy because I want to be free indeed.

  14. Pastor Rich says:

    Masturbation is a symptom of woundedness of the soul. Yes, it is sin, but no, you won’t go to hell if you don’t overcome it. The way to overcome all sin is by first, confessing it to God… bring it to light. The enemy hates that! Check out 1 John where it says: “If we walk in the light as He is in the light we have fellowship with one another and the blood of Jesus cleanses us from all unrighteousness.” What we need to heal the woundedness of our soul is massive does of the RIGHT kind of radiation… the light of God. In other words, lots of time spent before Him in openess and honesty and in His word… the bible calls it, “washing with water by the Word”. If you’re a Christian you have overcome sin in Christ. In other words you’re forgiven. Honestly, Christ’s forgiveness is lot’s bigger than anyone’s sexual problems. Don’t feel condemned if you have that problem… just go to God and accept His forgiveness. And then apply liberal doses of face time with the Lord, meditation on His word, in fellowship with other believers(especially someone you can honestly confess your faults to), and of sharing your faith(this is powerful) You’ll find healing in the areas that cause sexual sin…

  15. Anonymoose says:

    Thank you so much for giving this testimony. I’ve struggled with (and continue to struggle with – I’m 4 weeks clean at the moment :D ) this addiction, and I hate it. But God’s taught me sooo much through all the ordeal, I can see his work in my life through it.

    I remember the first time I read this, a year and a half ago I think. It was soon after I first ever confessed my masturbation addiction. This gave me so much hope. It made me feel not so alone – other girls had and still are struggling with masturbation. I’m not sure I’ll ever completely overcome this, but I know whatever happens, God forgives me, and I will continue striving to overcome to honor Him :)

    ~Anonymoose

  16. Sanat kumar says:

    I’m 18 years old a college going student. I’ve been addicted to masturbation for two and a half year. Please, tell me how i can overcome this evil.

  17. Hi, Please check out this testimony also. It is so real and practical for those who have tried everything to stop…
    http://firemountain7.wordpress.com/2013/01/23/overcoming-masturbation-testimony/

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