Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives, 2 when they observe your chaste conduct accompanied by fear. (1 Peter 3:1-2)

I received this message from a friend and I thought I would share it with you as I know there are those of you out there who have an unsaved husband/wife and probably are at your wits end, struggling with the whole situation, feel as if you are in a trap or simply do not know how to balance the christian life and the problems that you are having with your partner. May the testimony below encourage you and if you would like to contact the person direct, please let me know and I will pass on the message. Names have been changed to protect the persons identity

I think I told you a while back that my husband wasn’t saved. This is our story.

About 8 months ago I had a burden on my heart stronger than ever to pray for my husband’s salvation and for the first time began asking people to pray for him.

Back then he would’ve called himself a ‘lad’s lad’ although many would call him something a lot less pleasant. He had quite a horrendous up bringing full of abuse and neglect and was passed round family members like an unwanted possesion. Not suprisingly he ended up in his teens in and out of police cells narrowly avoiding a sentence on quite a few occasions. This was when I met him, I was also a wayward teen but not on the same level he was. I knew God but had chosen to ignore him to satsify my own selfish few years. We began a relationship and within a year I was pregnant with our son Lee and two yrs later we had our daughter Sonya. It was just after this that I came back to my Father in heaven.

We then got married as I gave him an ultimatum – I didn’t want to live in sin any longer so it was marriage or nothing. After preaching ‘at’ him for two years I began falling into misery and pleaded with God to help me. He didn’t draw David in right then, but He gave me an amazing sign. I asked Him in prayer one night to show me why David wouldn’t even come to church. I woke up with a Bible verse being shouted in my ear, I later realised it was the Lord shouting at me. I jumped out of bed and flicked through my Bible to find the verse – it said ‘They would not enter the holy place as they were afraid of the amazing signs and wonders happening in there.’ I couldn’t believe it, for the first time in my life God had actually spoken to me. So I took heed and finally gave David upto God.. and His perfect timing.

Two years on and we’d had some ups and downs, our relationship was quite erratic and David had always been a very angry person with occasional out bursts of violence – although he’d never physically hit me he would mentally intimidate me to the point that I’d fear for my own life (usually after he’d consumed alcohol) – God had always protected me though and I always felt He was telling me to hang on in there rather than leave.

Then, as I mentioned, I had the overwhelming urge to pray much more often for David and asked others to aswell. And out of the blue David said he’d one day like to read the Bible, but not one of the ‘new types’ it’d have to be an old King James Version. My Mum gave him an ancient one and he began reading it instantly, day after day – bearing in mind he’d never finished even a small book before he was ploughing through it.

A couple of weeks later God showed Himself to David through my 4 year old Sonya, who has such a great faith. It was pouring down with rain outside, the sky was black. David and Sonya were alone in the lounge and she looked out of the window and prayed out loud ‘Jesus please make it sunny and warm so I can play in the garden’ David laughed and got up to go out and have a cigarette. Literally by the time he’d opened the back door the sky was fully blue, the sun was shining and the grass was dry. He was so shocked and amazed that he came stumbling up the stairs to tell me. He really couldn’t believe it.

Then a few days later when he was fishing he muttered a quick prayer under his breath that ‘If you’re there God help me catch some fish today’ He was the only one to catch that day, infact he didn’t stop catching until he and his friends left to come home!!

A few days later there was a ‘men’s night’ at our church and he said he wanted to go – obviously I nearly fainted! When he came home he was in tears and told me that at the end he went to the front and said to the preacher ‘I want to become a Christian’ at which point he collapsed onto his knees sobbing – something I still could not imagine this previously hard hearted man to do.

For the next few days along with rejoicing, I struggled. My husband was truely gone and another kind, loving man had come in his place. He repeatedly broke down in tears with anguish and guilt for his sins and at the love and grace of our Lord Jesus. He sobbed for quite some time thinking about the sacrifice that Christ has made for us.

It’s been about a month now, and I can honestly say I know he is saved, I have never seen such a transformation. The Holy Spirit is truely regenerating him day by day. He is over half way through the Bible now, is printing scriptural tshirts, praying constantly and preaching to anyone who’ll hear him.. oh and he was baptised (full immersion) two weeks ago. Also last week he went out with another Christian into town late at night and shared God’s Word with all the weekend partyiers. He said he began speaking to one guy and within 5 minutes there were 20 men gathered around listening to him speaking about God.

Finally I can rest at ease knowing my family ALL belong to God and as a team we are already seeing miracles among our unsaved friends, two who have already turned to Christ! David acknowledges that he’s at the beginning of a massive learning journey but has already adopted the scripture ‘Let God be true and every man a liar’ – and can already see the difference between the true and false gospel.

I praise God every day and I reckon soon enough nothing much will suprise me. God is good!

Hope I didn’t lose you there Alan and sorry for the uber message. If you know any women in the same position I was please share our story to encourage them!

God Bless!!

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Comments
  1. Kay says:

    I would like this message passed on to the writer of this letter. Its 10:36pm and I’m looking for scriptures that will heal my weary soul. I’m in the same situation as you were with a husband who says he’s saved but doesn’t act like it. I have given my life back to Christ after ignoring his will for years. I was sinning without doubt and lived a life of sin. That’s how I met my husband. I’m struggling with him because I want my family to live for Christ. I will be praying for him just as you did for your husband. I know God has all the power in his hands and will convict my husband to come back to know him as his father.
    I thank God that he’s gave me a new walk and talk.
    Praise God that he delivered your husband. I was sobbibg reading your testimony.

  2. lavrai says:

    Thanks so much, Alan, for sharing this wonderful testimony. This is great encouragement for those struggling in a similar situation. I pray that GOD continues to bless this woman and her family in Jesus’ name.

  3. Darren says:

    The Testimony from the other side

    Before I was a Christian

    I used to do loads of stuff against not just God but people too, but what I’ve come to realise is that I was hungry for adventure, love, peace and glory. I thought that money would give me glory and peace (a little house outside the town), going out drinking would supply me with all the adventure I needed and knowing as many women as possible would fulfil my need for love.

    How I realised I needed Christ

    A funny thing happened though, whilst I was going through a quiet patch (didn’t need anything but was enjoying what life had to offer) God showed himself to me through my daughter. He answered two prayers in one week, changing the weather both times. It sounds like just another “God fearing coincidence”, but the second time it was a storm, I could hear the wind and rain against the door as I opened it to have a cigarette outside, but when I opened it I saw a blue sky, the wind had dropped so much that I couldn’t even fly a kite with my daughter.
    So… like anyone with any common sense would do, I tested the waters, I didn’t tell God that he wasn’t there if someone didn’t deliver a Porche with the next two days. I asked Him to show himself to me and started looking out for miracles. Whilst I was searching for miracles (secretly), my mother-in-law brought round a really old king James bible. That miracle (or God send) wasn’t realised for a couple of weeks. Anyway I started reading my bible and found out a load of stuff that I already knew plus a bit that I didn’t know, for example, I now knew that by lying I was breaking Gods law and would have to spend eternity in hell. Luckily in Deuteronomy it tells you how many sacrifices you have to do to get forgiven. Right, so now all I had to do was get enough money to buy about 12,000 oxen and 50,000 goats.
    Hmmmm……”doh…. how am I gunna do that?”
    The weirdest thing just as I thought that. The TV of all things said “sacrifice your life to Christ”
    Huh, but how can I do that? If I say I’m a Christian I won’t be able to go out looking at the hottest birds, I won’t be able to go out on motorbikes on Sunday mornings. In fact all my friends will think that Laura’s brainwashed me and they wont want to be my friends anymore (no-one likes hanging around with a Jesus freak).
    It would be like giving up my life for Christ!!!!
    Aha that’s it.. but how?? I’ve seen the pastor at the church asking for people to come to the front to give their life to Christ.
    But this is DARREN EDWARDS!!!!
    I wouldn’t want to show myself up.

    How I committed my life to Christ

    Luckily I had some help from God, Jason (the pastor), Laura (my wife) and Mike (my brother-in-law)
    At a men’s night we were all chilled watching the football in the church. After the football a guy gets up to do give a short sermon. It’s quite normal, but not this time, there were alarm bells ringing in my head. God wants me to do it now, but I can’t. Jason’s looking at me funny, but I can’t. George Miller (the guy giving the sermon) points at me and looks straight into my eyes and shouts “Jesus wants you”
    So I look to the heavens and ask if I have a choice in the matter…. People around me are standing up at the front to get prayed for, Jason nods and says “go on then”……”you can go up if you want”. Maybe he couldn’t see the horror on my face or maybe my face wasn’t showing how I felt.
    I stood behind another guy and caught him as he fell to the floor, I thought “awe now this is fake, they’re just trying to hypnotise me”. As my bum gets about an inch from the seat I felt a tap on the shoulder. “Oh no, Jason’s behind me”…..”ok I’ll do it”…..”Lord all I ask is that you don’t make me look a fool, I have no idea what to say or do. PLEASE just inject me with the Holy Spirit and don’t let anything else near. PLEASE release me from any other spirits that might be around me!!” Then George said “do you want to pray for strength?” and I blurted out “no, I just want to be a Christian”
    ARRGGHHHH, What was that? Who said that?

    George starts praying for me, Jason’s behind me praying, I’m just asking God to not make me look a fool. I look back and think to myself “there’s no point in standing there Jason, I’m not gunna fall over”. I close my eyes again and tell God that I’m ready to do it. I open them to find Jason looking over me, I was laying on the floor crying like a baby, laughing my head off. It was like the Holy Spirit had swept me off my feet. WOW
    How am I gunna tell Laura?!?
    I look round, there’s men everywhere, some of them crying, some laughing but not one was pointing.

    What my life is like now

    Now I’ve started my walk with Christ. I’m not hungry anymore, the only thing I do is talk and think about God. He shows himself to me every day. I notice how and when he’s going to talk to me. I’ve even heard him audibly.
    My friends are still my friends but they say I’m crazy in a different way. My Christian friends tell me that if I was a muslim I’d be a suicide bomber and my family call me legalistic.

    I see myself as a man of God and sincerely believe that God thinks so too.

  4. Alan Higgins says:

    So much for me keeping you both anonymous on my blog LOL. Seriously though, Darren I was blessed to read your testimony and even to see the pictures of your baptism encourages me (and I’m a christian) so I believe that your life will be a witness to many of your unsaved friends (even though they may not tell you outwardly). Stay strong in the word. It truly is your daily bread. Darren, you are very blessed to have Laura as your wife and I pray that you and your family will be a witness to Christ’s relationship with the church. Laura, stay faithful to God. You have already seen the fruit of it already

    God bless you both

    Alan

  5. Mika says:

    I’m so glad I found this blog in Google! This was so encouraging to read. I had some good chuckles too. I’m so happy to hear your story Darren and thanks Alan!

    I have been so cautious in finding the next girl I fall in love with. I wanted and prayed for the right companion: a woman of God to help me in my journey. It’s been over a year of being single and keeping my safety wall up.
    Until New Years Day 2009 I had just started a new relationship with an unsaved girl. Her name is Anne. I met her through school while I was overseas studying for business. I quit a month before I left back to Canada. Long story short, 2 weeks before I departed Anne and I ‘hooked up’ on New Years just after midnight. I know as a Christian I shouldn’t be with a non-Christian. I know the Bible tells us that first she should know the Lord before she is ready to love me. I’m so in love with this girl. I never want to let her go. I have been praying for her, my parents even have prayed with me. I am praying almost every night for her salvation. I trust the Lord will bring her to Him some day.

    I told her my testimony but she understands it differently. She believes that she doesn’t need the Bible to tell her whats right from wrong. So I’ve been trying to find some scripture and try to share it with her but I don’t want to push her away.

    I was wondering if Darren or Alan, or anyone has some advice or encouraging words for me. Please help if you can!

    Thank You

    God Bless!

    Mika

  6. Darren says:

    Recently I’ve been evangilising and found that most peoples faces change slightly when I tell them how I found God and then even more so when I tell them about my experiences with God. The way how as a christian I keep an eye out for miracles and can often see them before and as they happen. For example, God spoke through Laura and my pastor Jason, telling me to slow down with my learning, as a new christian I wanted to everything all at once, more people spoke to me saying slow down and God sent them all, I didn’t listen, but as I was driving down the road I had a feeling that God was telling me to slow down because I was breaking the speed limit, all the traffic lights through town were red but once I lowed down to the speed limit they started changing to green, I went the rest of the way through the town centre not changing gear. I found myself at my mother-in-laws house having a cup of tea and she had one of these “reading for the day” magazines. I read the reading for that day, it said “slow down and take things in because you cant learn everything in a week”

    Once people are looking for miracles it becomes easier for God to show himself. So far I’ve seen a few people strangers and friends turning to realise God is there and then slowly but surely I am able to explain why they need a saviour and that the bible is God’s book for teaching us.

    A good way to see how God tells you in the bible how he works miracles is to read Ezra, Nehemiah and Esther.

    For conviction Deutronemy and Exodus are great books.

    Read the Gospels for your saviour

  7. Laura says:

    Hiya Mika

    Did you say you only met her on New Years 09?

    It’s a tough situation and I can see why you’re so frustrated.. but remember so many men in the Bible were corrupted by marrying women who weren’t right with God. I really don’t mean to sound as if I have any authority on the subject as I know I don’t but I’m pretty sure after less than a month it’s your flesh talking rather than your heart.

    Lust can feel a lot like love.. infact ‘real love’ doesn’t blossom until that giddy feeling wears off and the relationship gets kinda boring.

    My best advice would be to pray earnestly for wisdom on the subject.. don’t be blinded by a woman who might possibly one day lead you away from the Almighty. Look to the future also, if God is your number one it’s going to be a massive problem further down the line if this chick doesn’t become a Christian. Or maybe God has a plan for her through you..

    Read the Word of God every day and pray for true guidance.

  8. Mika says:

    Laura and Darren,

    I understand these things. I have shared my testimony with her and she respected that, but when I talk about miracles like your story Darren or about my faith it’s like throwing paper to the swines. There is nothing in return. I can only share with her but I won’t get the same in return. And that’s not good in a relationship. I feel that I’ve been falling to fleshly desires when I’m with her.

    Looking at Adam. I feel like I’ve bit the apple and tried learning right from wrong the wrong way. God never intended us to learn this way. I knew He was protecting me from sin, but I chose to try to walk spiritually alone and now I realize what a fool I’ve been. I was not repenting, and slipping into fleshly lusts. But now I’m back on track with God and it feels right.

    After last night I felt so fired up and like a child excited for the Lord like a son to a father. I have prayed for His wisdom and strength. I do every time I pray. Since I came back to Canada I have learned that God is first in my life and I should focus on Him.

    I will continue read the Word of God and to pray and trust what the Lord has planned.

    Thank You both

    Mika

  9. Alan Higgins says:

    I agree with Laura. My advice is to do what the bible says and not be unequally yoked with an unbeliever as there are always consequences when we disobey God (I know it is probably easier said than done when you have these feelings already) and to be honest on this subject, there is nothing to pray about because God has already revealed the answer in his word. We can not ask God to bless our disobedience. Yes, there are times when God does give grace and the other party does become a christian (as in Lauras testimony) but that is not always the case and the longer you are with her, the harder it will become. Mika as I said, I know its not going to be easy. All I can say is see what God says on the subject and obey what he says. I hope this has helped you

    Alan

  10. Mika says:

    I know it’s hard acting on my heart and I’m learning that it’s not what my heart wants. My heart wants Jesus and if she doesn’t have him, I’m just suffering. I want to see her saved, as I have the passion to see people saved but she’s probably not the woman for me. I’ve prayed for a woman of God. I see them at church and wish I had that kind of spouse to strengthen me. It would be a stronger relationship. I feel a huge distance between us other than the Atlantic Ocean. The hardest part is letting her go without Jesus but I have learned it’s not up to me. God revealed to us ‘true love’ through Jesus Christ and that’s what I pursue. Romans 5:8

    Thanks for all your support Alan!

    Mika

    PS: Feel free to check out my blog and leave some comments!

  11. Annette Hadden says:

    Hi,

    I am in the same situation with my husband. Please pass on my e-mail so that I can request prayer for him and get some advise from that family. Jesus bless you

  12. Alan Higgins says:

    Annette, I will pass this on

  13. Yvonne says:

    I too am married to a wonderful Godly Man; I am speaking it into existence. I don’t fully see it but I believe Gods word. Although, it gets hard sometimes and we have been through many storms in our marriage with my gifts as an evangelist, I know I must focus on God and not my husband and God will do the rest. We have been together for well over 30 years and married for almost 25. God is only using me for a testimony and for marriage ministry. I say to those like me keep on praying and don’t give up. My husband has quit drinking, he attends church and has stopped hanging out with the guys. Hes is almost at the breaking point.

    Thank you Lord.

    Vone

  14. kelly says:

    hi,
    i am writing this after reading the testimonials and such. i am a 20 year old female who is about the marry a 23 year old unsaved marine. we have known each other as kids but i moved away in elementary school after my parents died and after highschool he joined the marines. he has had a very hard life as his years with his mom leaving and his dad being mentally abusive to him. he has now developed a habit of “playing hard” like nothin bothers him which i guess could also be partly bc of being a marine.well he came back and we met for the first time in years and fell immeidiatley in love and within a few months he asked me to marry him. he is now on tour in another country and i am awaiting his return for us to get married. as i said earlier he is unsaved but i really feel it is mainly bc of his surroundings. the military life telling him he isnt cool if he doesnt drink and such, all his few frineds back home not pursuing life and just laying back home and being content doing bad things. i have been with him and seen who he is with me.he doesnt cuss, he is just himself and he has such a good heart he is just afraid to let it out. i know many christians would say right off the bat “dont marry this man” but i have prayed and fasted for over a month since he lefted for his salvation. i can not give up on him and let the enemy have him. i know what he can be and i love him very much and when he comes home i can say that i will more than likely marry him. i have a strong faith in this circumstance and know that NOTHING is impossible with God. please anyone who will help me pray for his salvation b5 he comes home. im just afraid when he does his old friends ans such will try to bring him down. thank you

  15. Alan Higgins says:

    Yvonne, we can pray for this man but I am going to tell you something that you will not like to hear. The bible makes it VERY clear that you should not be in a relationship with an unbeliever.The bible also makes it very clear that none of us have a good heart but our hearts are deceitfully wicked. No matter how much you mix it, oil and water do not mix and if you marry this man, you will have willfully disobeyed God and there is no guarantee that he will get saved. Just because it happened in this situation doesn’t mean it will in yours. Missionary dating is not permitted in the bible. If he will not bow the knee to Christ now, what makes you think that marriage will make a difference. I know this is a hard pill to swallow but I am commanded to speak the truth and I hope you can see that it is meant to be in love

  16. Sabrina Brown says:

    This was very encouraging, I struggle with being married to a unsaved husband who’s background is similiar to your husband’s. I pray everyday that my husband will surrender his life to Christ!!!!!

  17. sue says:

    I jst luv ths story n trust n hope tht mine wl end th same……plz pray wth me fr my muslim husband. Can tht lady contact me as well plzzz…. many thnx n God bless

  18. Heather L says:

    Agreed this was such an inspiring story. I cried reading it. I would love to speak with her also and recovery the hope I once had for my husband and marriage.

  19. a_l_henley says:

    I am in a very similar situation. However, I feel like I’m in a struggle for my own salvation on a daily basis after coming back to the Lord (after he and I had already started a relationship)…how could/can I ever carry the load of being responsible for praying my husband into Christ? I feel so hopeless. Our family situation is a very difficult and unique one. I know that I have to stay the course as this situation is the consequence of choices I have made…it just feels hopeless that my husband and step-boys will ever be truly saved. I feel like a cesspool living in a cesspool home with a fellow cesspool. I realize that sounds bad it’s truly how I feel. I am overweight and treated for depression and work full time (thankfully) …he is a stay at home alcoholic and depressed dad…he has 3 boys by his first wife who drank herself to death…their oldest is 20 and is severe bipolar with alcohol and drug addictions along with being a cleptomaniac and incredibly difficult to get along with…their middle son is 15 and is the only one with any hope of making a life for himself…their youngest is 11 and was born premature and with Fetal Alcohol Syndrome and has many difficulties even with Meds. There is so much more but I could spend all day and it’s too depressing. I could use some prayers please.

    • Alan Higgins says:

      This situation sounds like you need someone to walk through this situation with you. Are you able to get on touch with a mature Christian or a pastor where you can get some godly counsel?

      • a_l_henley says:

        I do not currently have a church but am working on it…there is a church here that is an Christian & Missionary Alliance affiliated church that will be holding a Walk Thru The Bible event next month and plan to attend. I am hoping it will be the church that I can call my home. So many here are caught up in either the Prosperity Gospel, Signs and Wonders/NAR, or Christian Hedonism foundation. It’s sad.

  20. Danni says:

    Wow ive been asking God what to do. I got saved in November and my bf isnt saved its a horrible place right now im so confused what to do I believe God ia telling me to wait. But my dad says leave him. I have achild with him idk. hes such an amgry person he believes in God yet rejects EVERY thing I say . Mocks it … pls pray for me Danni and eddy and zoey my daughter

  21. Ayanna Jeffrey says:

    Hi, I am also married to an unsaved man. We’ve been married for 15 years and it has been hell. From infidelity to disrespect in my kids presence… the list goes on and on.
    I met him when I was a young missionary in a newly populated area. Despite words of warning from my Pastor and others, I felt my faith could save him. How wrong I was!!. To those contemplating marriage to an unsaved individual, don’t even think about it. Trust God for your mate, He hasn’t run out of anything.

  22. Sharon says:

    This encouraged and blessed me. I hunger for God to continue with the work he’s begun in my life. Although I haven’t seen the results shared here I pray His glory will shine even as I’m living the process. Hearing these kind of outcomes brings strength to those of us still in the process. 😇

  23. clayton says:

    he is able

  24. Stephanie Howson Veintimilla says:

    Hello Alan, may I contact this person directly? I am looking for people who will agree with me and pray for my husbands salvation. It has been very hard but this testimony greatly encouraged me.

  25. Stephanie Howson Veintimilla says:

    I didn’t check the boxes for notifications. So doing it now.

    God bless.

  26. Angelin says:

    Can i talk to you..

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