Do you have some Christianese phrases?

Posted: June 4, 2009 in Humour
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

I used to contribute regularly on a forum and we discussed christianese. Some of some of the christianese phrases

  • Touch five people and say…….”
  • Backbenched!
  • Can I get a witness
  • Can somebody give me an AMEN
  • Ahhhhhhh I wish I had a church that could……………….
  • Y’all not hearing me!
  • I’m preaching so good today im gonna have to get my own tape.
  • Turn to your neighbour and say…..neighbour (fill in the blanks)
  • I can’t get no one to say Amen to that…..followed by prompt amens.
  • I see that hand
  • Give the Lord a hand clap……………
  • Speak it into existence……..
  • You don’t know what Im talkin bout (followed by shouts of amen etc)
  • If just one person would come and receive……….
  • I am blessed and highly flavoured!”
  • “When i used to be in the world”…………….non-Christian hears and looks puzzled
  • I think it’s funny when people say ‘praise the Lord’ out of habit like… “I was driving my car, praise the Lord and I stopped at the traffic lights, praise The Lord, and the guy in the next car swore at me for stopping so fast, praise the Lord…” lol! They put it in the funniest places sometimes

 Do you have some other phrases? Please share

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Comments
  1. Marie says:

    Alan,

    Are you sure you’re not an American?! Do they say these in the UK, or have you heard/seen them on TV? They sound very regional US.

    You pretty much covered all of them, that I know of.

    Another odd habit I’ve noticed when people are leading prayers is how they insert “just” after practically every verb. Example:

    “Lord we just praise You and we just want to give you the glory. We just ask that You would just move and just show Your power.” etc…

    • Melanie says:

      I am so irritated and concerned by the over use of “just” in prayers, that I’ve considered writing a book on the lack of faith it represents!! Of course, that’s “just” a threat!!

  2. Kate says:

    How about:

    Can I hear an amen?

    I stumbled across your blog and read your “About Me” page. I just want to tell you a hearty AMEN! It’s important for us to learn from God Himself through His Word and not from man. I went through the same thing as you. I shall return!!! God bless you, my brother!!!

    Kate

  3. Alan Higgins says:

    Marie, the UK is the US’s cousin and we have picked up a lot of christianese from yourselves. You’re so right about ‘just’ LOL

    Thanks for visiting my blog Kate and I’m glad you like it. Have a browse around

  4. naturalsystah says:

    Marie – oh wow you are spot on with the abundance of the word “just”, LOL!!!

  5. Denita says:

    There’s also the sudden change from standard American English to “thee” and “thou” during prayer. Like God can’t hear what you’re saying unless you pepper it with King Jamesian speech…

    –Denita

  6. 1. It’s your season
    2. Trust God or your breakthrough
    3. I’m preaching better than you’re saying amen
    4. Life and death are in the power of the tongue…so speak life in your situation, finances, marriage& etc
    5. God will take you from the pit to the palace (normally said when people preach about Joseph)

  7. lavrai says:

    This is hilarious! Is this one really supposed to be like it is – “I am blessed and highly flavoured!” Flavoured? I haven’t heard that one. Are you on Twitter, Alan? I tweeted this one…

    GOD bless.

  8. Alan Higgins says:

    Lol. No Lavrai I’m not on twitter but I’m on facebook

  9. walter says:

    Don’t forget those that continously say “amen” before they complete a sentence,similiar to the “praise the Lord”Christianese phrasers.

  10. Woman of God says:

    What about the rhyming phrases?

    Like “God is gonna take your SITUATION and bring you a REVELATION when your ANTICIPATION gives you an INSPIRATION and an INNOVATION for the whole CONGREGATION … etc.”

    Lol. And I’m not exaggerating.

    • kevin says:

      i know this was written a long time ago, but i just now saw it… you shoulda replied – “Lol. And that’s no EXAGGERATION!”… hahaha…

      almost worse than how the preacher does the rhyming is how the congregation gets all excited about it!!

  11. WOW says:

    Man this reminds of me when I apologized to a friend about an argument we had and she looks at me and says “It’s ok, go and sin no more.”

    so christianese!!!

  12. Monique says:

    I laugh uncontrollably every time a minister pronounces “blessed” as “bless-ed”, as in “bless-ed are the meek…” Drives me crazy!

  13. Keith D says:

    Praying for a “hedge of protection” and for “traveling mercies.”

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