I have seen many instances where people have left church for one reason or another and it got me thinking, should we just leave our church at the slightest whim or should we be loyal and stay at any cost?

Here are some of the common reasons, to name a few, why people leave their church

– the people aren’t friendly

– need more teaching

– they have been hurt by another member

Spiritual abuse

False teaching

– No childcare facilities

– Don’t like the leadership

As a result I had to really think about this and came up with the following (which is not exhaustive).

Some reasons why you SHOULDN’T leave a church:

The people are not friendly

I have news for you. Humans go to church and no matter where you go, unfriendly people are likely to exist. There could be a number of reasons for this.

– Some people are naturally shy

– The person may be at a stage of their life where they have been ‘burnt’ by church folf and are keeping themself to themself

– They maybe just ‘feeling out the church’

– They are just plain rude. No excuses

– Maybe the problem is with YOU and you have a chip on your shoulder

– Sometimes we just don’t know what is going on ‘behind the scenes’ of that person’s life

Just know that you will never find a perfect church but if you do find one, as soon as you attend, it will become imperfect anyway.

You dont agree with all the doctrine that your church teaches

Again, the chances are that no matter where you go, you will not agree with everything that is preached from the pulpit . The question to ask, therefore,  is WHAT is being preached? Is it Christ and him crucified? Are the essential doctrines  central to their beliefs? Are the sermons  Christ-centered (for me personally, this is a big test)? 

Some things you can just ‘let go’. You may not agree, for example, with the gift of tongues but it maybe that it carried out in an ‘orderly’ way but everything else that is done is very Christ centered. 

The music isn’t lively enough

Even though I have to admit that good music enhances the ‘worship’ experience, it should NEVER be the litmus test to know if you should stay in a church or not. I have been to a church where the standard of music/musicians was second to none but the doctrine was not Christ Centered at all and placed emotion and experience above sound doctrine. It may be that you will have to compromise on your style of music in order to get rock solid sound doctrine which is so important especially with so much deception around.

Being hurt by another member in church

This can come under many guises including spiritual abuse. This can range from a person not talking to you to a pastor blackmailing you. This has to be dealt with on a case by case basis and is where godly counsel may be required.

Some reasons why you SHOULD leave a church:

The messages are not Christ centered

They do not preach Christ and Him crucified. If the messages are not Christ centered but are man centered, GET OUT OF THAT CHURCH. If the focus is about you then it is a distorted gospel and not the gospel of Jesus Christ. It is another gospel

Spiritual abuse

I have touched on this in my previous post. Click here to read it

Belittling of sound doctrine

They do not believe the essential doctrines of the faith or don’t think doctrine is important at all and relienquish it. Many churches these days put emotionalism above sound doctrine which can be so dangerous as we saw with Todd Bentley and the Lakeland ‘revival’

Some churches place little emphasis (if any) on doctrine and it is seen as a swear word. This is the reason why homosexual ‘churches’ spring up or people condone that behavior because they have created doctrine that stoops down to their level

Scripture is not the final authority

If a church is not rooted in the bible then you are left with a church that is rooted in the philosophies and traditions of man which Jesus says makes the word of God of none effect

As I said at the beginning, this is not an exhaustive list and some situations may not be black and white as there maybe other factors that you may have to take into account which godly counsel will be required but hopefully, will go some way in helping you make the decision if to stay at your church or not but whatever you do, find somewhere to fellowship with other believers on a regular basis

….not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as is the manner of some, but exhorting one another, and so much the more as you see the Day approaching.not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as is the manner of some, but exhorting one another, and so much the more as you see the Day approaching. (Hebrews 10:25)

Related Post:

Are you ‘not in church’?

  1. DMac says:

    Good points. I agree, you will never find a perfect church fellowship because as flawed beings our flaws will inevitably make an appearance whilst at church. Unforunately, this leads to people becoming offended, in many instances all to quickly.

    However, one thing that is fundamentally important to me is childcare facilities. I want my children to be able to both learn and thrive in church and if there is no facility that can offer this, then I would look elsewhere.


  2. Alan Higgins says:

    I totally agree. If you have kids, it definitely has to factor into the church you attend

  3. nikegirlfan says:

    I know this doesn’t have much to do with the topic, but if a kid is 13 and over can he or she attend the adult Sunday School services? I,m turning 13 May 18 and a lot of the my church teaches for the kid Sunday School is great, but it seems a little too young for me.

    • laurie0313 says:

      Our church allows children of all ages in adult service. They are taught discipline, the parents learn how to discipline and they learn at an early age what church is all about. There is a Sunday school class before hand where they are taught godly principles. I don’t think farming the kids off elsewhere so parents can be free of them for a time is good.

  4. james says:

    I left a church that my wife is still apart of. The doctrine is watered down, there is extreme emotionalism. The drummers mock and laugh at the jumping congregation during praise (high praise as they call it), and stop the music and pick it back up just for them to control the people. The pastor jerks her body often during services and screams in the mic with a tense angry face. Before I left she told the elders that I was crazy because I approached her about over working my pregnant wife doing outreach ministries. My wife was high risk pregnancy and she knew that. And the pastor will frequently touch my face ( I was her armor bearer) and arms even with no cause. How do I get my wife ( who is more loyal to this church than to me) out of their fierce grip? Please help

  5. Alan Higgins says:

    James, it is very hard to show someone who has been indoctrinated by false doctrine that they are deceived and I do not think there is any quick answer here. I think that prayer is definitely a start. Sometimes, it is only God that can open someones eyes. He did it with me

  6. Beverly Oliver -Greenwade says:

    If you do not agree with all of the doctrine taught by the pastor are you in danger of rebelling against that pastor and causing strife in that part of the body?

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