Archive for January, 2012

This is one of those sayings that I hear too many times. I normally hear it after a christian tries to justify dating a non believer. To those who don’t know what missionary dating, it is basically when a Christian dates a non-Christian and then tries to convert them while they are dating them. The Christian knows within their heart that the other person is not a Christian, but deceives themself into thinking that it is still OK because ‘they believe in God’.

A female called TBS wrote to Trisha Ramos (Taken from Fish with Trish) with the following question addressing this point:

I’m dating this Muslim guy, and after my ex’s, which have been Muslim too, I thought I would never date another. I know what I want in my future husband and to have him believe and practice my faith as well. He is completely an awesome guy and I do love him. NOTHING like my past relationships. Ive made it clear I WILL NOT MARRY anyone who isn’t Christian. So he’s told me he loves me as well and would love to learn, look into Christianity and has been doing research on his own as well. Def. would love to bring him to services with me….Ive also questioned his converting.. if that’s what he chooses, I would not want it to be because of me solely and that he would want to on his own. I know he cant get to heaven though ME! My question. Do I wait? Or know this will end terribly and end it now? I’m just so confused and thought I could come to you for some advice! – TBS
Here is the reply which I know will answer many of you who find yourself in a similar position dating a non-believer:
Dear TBS,
<will end terribly and end it now?>>
My advice and the bibles advice: Don’t date him. But rather, witness to him and then keep your distance. If he is a true convert, invite him to church (to meet you there) and that is the only context in which I would see him. Then you’ll see if he is serious about the Lord. If he continues to go for a long period of time and demonstrates genuine repentance, it might be evidence that he is going because of the Lord and not just for you.

Remember, there is no such thing as “missionary” dating. We don’t date to convert. Don’t “date” him in hopes that he will get “saved”. Rather, get to know someone who IS a Christian and then marry.

You are not to be unequally yoked (2 Cor 6:14,1 John 1:6). So scripture is clear that you are to cut it off. Imagine a Christian spouse toying with the question, “Is it okay for me to commit adultery…maybe I’ll pray about it?” Scripture makes it clear that you are never to commit adultery. In the same way, scripture makes it clear that you are not to be unequally yoked with an unbeliever. You don’t have to debate or pray about cutting it off. God has given you the manual (the Bible) to guide you and to light your path (Psalm 119:105).

And also remember that you have a real adversary (The Devil) who
seeks to devour and destroy you. There is a spiritual battle going on here (2 Cor 10:5, Eph 6:12).

I’m so glad you have emailed. I hope this has helped a bit.


I know I have been late but over the Christmas period, I watched the film Fireproof and I personally think it has to be one of the best, if not the best Christian film that I have watched. Here is a brief description of the film:

At work, inside burning buildings, Capt. Caleb Holt lives by the old firefighter’s adage: Never leave your partner behind. At home, in the cooling embers of his marriage, he lives by his own rules. Growing up, Catherine Holt always dreamed of marrying a loving, brave firefighter…just like her daddy. Now, after seven years of marriage, Catherine wonders when she stopped being “good enough” for her husband. Regular arguments over jobs, finances, housework, and outside interests have readied them both to move on to something with more sparks. As the couple prepares to enter divorce proceedings, Caleb’s father challenges his son to commit to a 40-day experiment: “The Love Dare.” Wondering if it’s even worth the effort, Caleb agrees-for his father’s sake more than for his marriage. When Caleb discovers the books daily challenges are tied into his parents’ newfound faith, his already limited interest is further dampened. While trying to stay true to his promise, Caleb becomes frustrated time and again. He finally asks his father, “How am I supposed to show love to somebody who constantly rejects me?” When his father explains that this is the love Christ shows to us, Caleb makes a life-changing commitment to love God. And, “with God’s help” he begins to understand what it means to truly love his wife. But is it too late to fireproof his marriage? His job is to rescue others. Now, Caleb Holt is ready to face his toughest job ever … rescuing his wife’s heart.

Last year, I attended The Marriage Course in my church which I found very helpful indeed, especially when it came to love languages. However, there was so much to learn and from so many different angles. If your church is hosting on or you know a church which is, I would highly recommend attending,  as you will learn things that you probably wouldn’t have thought about before.

Without giving away the story in Fireproof, the 40-day experiment is based on The Love Dare which…

…….. …personally leads you through daily devotionals, records your thoughts and experiences, and ends each day daring you to perform a simple act of love for your spouse. This 40-Day journey equips you to melt hardened, separated hearts into an enduring love that can withstand the flames of fear, pride and temptation. The Love Dare book will help you reinforce and enrich your marriage, earn back a love you thought was lost, and hear more about the One who not only designed unconditional, sacrificial love—He illustrated it.

In a world that attacks, devalues, and redefines relationships every day, learn how to rescue and protect your marriage from the firestorm. Take The Love Dare and FIREPROOF your relationship.

Topics Discussed in The Love Dare book

In FIREPROOF, The Love Dare covers the topics of relationship parasites (addictions like pornography and gambling) and unconditional love. The Love Dare devotional book expands and extends the topics addressed in the film’s plot to include such vital issues as:

  • Why Marriage? Explore the blessings and challenges of godly marriage.
  • Contract or Covenant? Examine the difference between the world’s design for marriage and God’s original intention.
  • Clean Fighting. Learn how to fight the fires of conflict effectively and respectfully.
  • Leading Your Heart, Instead of Vice Versa. Practice choosing love when it isn’t your instinctive respon

To read the Love Dare and maybe use it in your marriage, click on one of the versions below

The Love Dare – Full Version

The Love Dare – Condensed Version

Happy New Year Everyone.

Instead of writing something new, my messages last year still hold true this year. Click here and here to read them

Thanks to all my readers and to those of you who have subscribed to my blogs or made comments