Posts Tagged ‘pimp’

I saw this video over at Slaughter of the Sheep, and I was indignant how Eddie Long received this ‘Kingship’.

A few scriptures came to mind

1 Then Jesus said to the crowds and to his disciples: 2 “The teachers of the law and the Pharisees sit in Moses’ seat. 3 So you must be careful to do everything they tell you. But do not do what they do, for they do not practice what they preach. 4They tie up heavy, cumbersome loads and put them on other people’s shoulders, but they themselves are not willing to lift a finger to move them. 5 “Everything they do is done for people to see: They make their phylacteries wide and the tassels on their garments long; 6 they love the place of honor at banquets and the most important seats in the synagogues; 7 they love to be greeted with respect in the marketplaces and to be called ‘Rabbi’ by others……12 Whoever exalts himself will be humbled, and whoever humbles himself will be exalted. (Matthew 23:1-6,12)

And the people were shouting, “The voice of a god, and not of a man!”. Immediately an angel of the Lord struck him down, because he did not give God the glory, and he was eaten by worms and breathed his last.(Acts 12:22-23). Watch out Eddie!!

Perceiving then that they were about to come and take him by force to make him king, Jesus withdrew again to the mountain by himself (John 6:15). Even Jesus, who is the the King of Kings, withdrew himself when they tried to make him King

This ceremony was done by Rabbi Ralph Messer, who leads Simchat Torah Beit Midrash (STBM) – a congregation promoting interfaith discussions –  teaches principles of the Torah that he claims “produce life” or prosperity.He also writes on his Facebook page: “If you have been undecided, unfocused, and unexcited, then start learning about Principles of God. You can Succeed! You have been Redeemed! Yeshua (Jesus) has a plan for your life! It is called the Torah. … Remember, a Torah Principle applied accurately will cause you to prosper Financially, Emotionally, Physically and Spiritually.”

Thats funny because last time I read scripture, it tells me that the only thing that the law can do is produce wrath (Romans 4:15) and death (2 Cor 3:6) and is only a tutor to bring us to Christ (Galatians 3:19-22). In other words, the law condemns us and takes us to the cross but no further.

Wil Gafney rebuts some of the ceremony in this post. I am not a Jew so cannot vouch for its accuracy but I wouldn’t be surprised. If anyone knows better, it would be good to know

As a result of the video going viral on the internet, Messer has subsequently stated that it was a misunderstanding but looking at some of his teaching, I am not convinced that it was. He puts an unhealthy emphasis on the Torah. In the video below, Messer tells us that the Torah (the first five books of the bible) is NOT the law. However, Jesus constantly mentioned the law (Torah) and the prophets.

In the video below, he states that he does not talk about sin (the very thing that we should be talking about) but ‘the realm of death which brings curses and the realm of life which brings blessings’. How dangerous is that?

A lot of Christians believe that they are closer to God if they follow Jewish traditions and ceremonies but this is totally at odds with scripture. In fact, Paul wrote a whole book called Galatians to address this subject because some were being poisoned into thinking that they were more godly by follwing the law. What did Paul say to them?

O foolish Galatians (Christians or Atlantians in this case) ! Who has bewitched you? It was before your eyes that Jesus Christ was publicly portrayed as crucified. 2 Let me ask you only this: Did you receive the Spirit by works of the law or by hearing with faith? 3 Are you so foolish? Having begun by the Spirit, are you now being perfected by the flesh? (Galatians 3:1-3)

Lets not just turn a blind eye to his tomfoolery but speak up against it. Many people will continue to be deceived if we stay silent

UPDATE: Eddie Long has sinced apologize to the Jewish community. Click here for details

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Bad Hermeneutics (John MacArthur)

Posted: February 4, 2010 in Theology and Doctrine
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Taking God’s Word seriously means many hours of diligent study, which produces doctrinal coherence and theological consistency. That’s not what today’s evangelicals are known for. So how do we remedy that?

Charismatic Chaos

Posted: November 20, 2009 in False Doctrine, False Teachers, Theology and Doctrine
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Following my videos on Give me the Truth Part 1 and Part 2 and my post on ‘Did God actually say that?‘ I realise that the things mentioned in these posts happen predominantly in charismatic circles where I came from. Now let me say from the very start that not everything in charismatic churches is bad as there is bad in every church and I would agree with John Macarthur when he says:

I’m very much aware of the fact that not everyone who is associated with the Charismatic movement is engaged in the kind of extreme error that we will be, from time to time, referring to.  There are people who are more moderate.  There are people within the Charismatic movement who, themselves, are very, very concerned about the heresies and the aberrations that exist within that movement

However, there are so many things in there which is error that we cannot ignore it.

Here are some classic examples

Now there may be somethings below that you may not agree with but on the whole, I think that John Macarthur hits it right on the head. You can listen to each sermon by clicking on the appropriate link or download it by right clicking on the link and saving the files. 

Does God Still Give Revelation?

Does God Still Give Prophecies?

Proper Biblical Interpretation

Does God Do Miracles Today?

The Third Wave

How Do Spiritual Gifts Operate?

What Was Happening in the Early Church?

Does God Still Heal?

Speaking in Tongues

What Is True Spirituality?

Does God Promise Health and Wealth? Part 1

Does God Promise Health and Wealth? Part 2

Does Experience Determine Truth?

Remember when Paul Crouch said this?

I never thought I would see this. John Macarthur on TBN but being the trooper that Johnny Mac is, he did not waver in his message at all.

I wonder what Paul and Jan Crouch thought of what he said. I also wonder if the same people who were agreeing with John MacArthur are the same people who agree with the pimps who are normally on TBN

Juanita diary

I’ll say no more

Before I say anything, let me make this clear that this post is not to belittle or minimize domestic abuse or the sufferers of it. Those who do this despicable thing should have the full weight of the law brought on them. This post is solely a look at Juanita Bynum actions from a biblical standpoint

Not content to play out her whole domestic abuse and divorce out in front of the whole world, Juanita Bynum is making the most of her publicity (and dragging it out) and now appears in Divorce Court. That’s right,the self proclaimed ‘face of domestic violence’ ‘christian’ ‘pastor’ is guest appearing on a TV show about an event that God hates. To say she is milking her situation is an understatement. Watch the following videos

You will have to double-click on the video below to see it

So what does the bible say

1 But as for you, speak the things which are proper for sound doctrine: 2 that the older men be sober, reverent, temperate, sound in faith, in love, in patience; 3 the older women likewise, that they be reverent in behavior, not slanderers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things— 4 that they admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, 5 to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be blasphemed. (Titus 2 1:1-5)

First and foremost, Juanita’s is in no position to teach anybody about living a biblical family life. I know many women will flock to her because they can ‘relate’ but just relating does not make the advice good especially when it comes to godly matters. I have heard Bishop Weeks (her soon to be ex-husband) say many times that he has seeked reconciliation but Juanita is having none of it and has not even hinted that she requires the same. Surely if there was ever a chance to show the love of God, it is then. Look how many times we have offended God and if we come with a repentant heart, he is willing to forgive us.

A marriage is supposed to be a representation of Christ and the church. When the world looks at Juanita and her attitude about her marriage, what does the world see? Here is an example of what they see

She is supposedly the spokesperson for God yet blasphemes his name by her conduct. What she is doing does NOT bring glory to God, she does NOT preach sound doctrine and you can see from past videos that she operates on greed (If only that threshing floor video was still available)

I think her words “I love him, but I love me more” sums her up. Ching Ching!!!

Courtesy of Bro Melvin of Pulpit Pimps, this is the new publication from P.I.M.P Ministries that we have all been waiting for. Click on the thumbnail image to get a look at the new book, “Pulpit Pimping for Dummies [Third edition] from P.I.M.P Temple Press.

Pulpit Pimping for Dummies

Take your ministry to the next level. Walk in divine prosperity. Get the break through you keep promising the sheeple. Drive the best cars, live in the biggest house, fly the best planes and patronize the best restaurants.

The Dummies guide tells you how to convince people to give you more money than they can afford to give you. But not only that, it teaches you how to make those people to think you are doing them a favor by taking the money. We give you the secrets for convincing people to pay you their tithes BEFORE they pay their rent or electric bill. Do you want to make people financially dependent on you? We’ll tell you how.

You want to be worshiped as if you are the Christ? The Dummies guide teaches you how to walk, talk, and threaten so that even the most stubborn (though stupid) sheeple will be willing to quote you rather than the Bible.

Are there people in your congregation who regularly disagree with you and base that disagreement on an accurate understanding of Scripture? The Dummies guide gives you foolproof instructions on how get them out of your congregation and how to make the sheeple believe they are being obedient to God when they turn their backs on the rebel.

Once you begin to read the book and practice the techniques it promotes, you should see an almost immediate increase in your income. Tip toeing around you should increase by at least twenty percent – from the first week of practicing what the book preaches.

How do you intimidate without appearing to be doing so? It’s in there.

How do you get the congregation to buy you a house bigger than the apartment buildings most of your congregants live in? It’s in there.

Maybe you want to be the top earner in your state? Just like the rest of the stuff you want to do – it’s in there.

“Pulpit Pimping for Dummies” provides you all the information, and all the guidance you need to apply the information to get to where you want to be, to get what you want out of life, to rake in as much money, cars and other stuff as you want.

There’s even a special Scumbag section that has tons of information on how the best of the scumbags get away with sexual harassment and abuse, spanking, raping, incest and just plain fooling around with some of the Gospel groupies. We tell you how to intimidate folks to keep silent, what Scriptures to use to keep the sheeple thinking they should feel bad about doubting whatever you tell them, and how to make sure you are repeating “touch not God’s anointed” often enough to be effective but not often enough to lessen the impact.

What are the five characteristics of a worship leader that will make sure your offering always grow? They’re in there.

How do you pick the right men as deacons or elders to make sure you can take the church in whatever direction you want? Yep. It’s in there.

Want to know how to talk your way around the clear teaching against co-pastors, female pastors and bishops, or female elders? You guessed it. It’s in there.

If you order “Pulpit Pimping for Dummies” today, you will be on your way to becoming the top dog in your community. And before too long, you be reaching Bid Dogdom in your county and state. With a consistent application of the material, you could even end up on TBN and other venues for increasing your fame and ability to rake in money.

Here are some unsolicited testimonies from folks who have followed the advice in my book:

“I was having trouble getting the congregation to just buy me a new suit. But once I started following the advice of “P-P for Dummies” they not only buy me suits now, they even buy me cars. I had to build a new garage to handle all the overflow.” – Bishop Gary Hawkins

“I thought Pastor Melvin was crazy the first time I read his book. But after growing the church from eight people who wanted to follow Christ to 5,600 people willing to follow me any where, and give me anything, I recommend the book. Sure Melvin’s crazy – crazy like a fox.” – Bishop Eddie Long

“I went from a traditional Baptist church with two hundred families housed in a dinky little building in the center of Glenarden Maryland, to more than 7,000 members housed in mega church structure costing more than $55 million dollars. And I convinced everyone to build it in the middle of nowhere. Thanks “P-P for Dummies!” John K. Jenkins

“It’s hard to believe that people can be manipulated so easily. The stuff Melvin shared in the book works on television and over the internet just as well as it does in a church building. I would never have been able to get that second jet, the Citation, without his advice.” Ken Copeland

“Melvin helped me to understand that it doesn’t matter what you preach, whether you deny the diety of Jesus or the effectiveness of His death on the cross. He showed me how to get a really great business jet, residences in several cities, including New York City, and a load of cash like you wouldn’t believe. If you want to be the best Pulpit Pimp you can be, buy Melvin’s book. It will pay for itself by the next time you take up an offering using his advice.” Creflo Dollar

These are just some of the testimonies people have written in, proving that “Pulpit Pimping for Dummies” is a valuable tool for you to add to your preaching toolbox. With the added income practically guaranteed, you’ll be able to buy all those other book (commentaries, bible dictionaries and crap) so you can impress the one or two sheeple you occasionally allow into your house.

Order it now. Get your break through. Be the best pimp you can be with no more effort than it takes to go out to dinner.