Posts Tagged ‘self deception’

A few months ago, I wrote a post called “But they believe in God, the dangers (and disobedience) of missionary dating”. Well I came across this video from Pastor Justin Cox of, which also touches on this topic in a humerous but also serious way.

I never want to be insensitive to the real struggles that single people have and the temptation to ‘help God out’ but in the long run, it really is not worth it.

As per P4CM:

Young ladies, there is a strong temptation to fulfill the desire you have for relationship with the wrong man too early.  Our P4CM sister Ashley has gone off to college and she’s being encouraged by God that He will be there for her and bring the right man when it’s the right time.  Until then, it’ll just be Him and her.  

Are you willing to wait as well?  See what Ash has to say and be encouraged.

This is one of those sayings that I hear too many times. I normally hear it after a christian tries to justify dating a non believer. To those who don’t know what missionary dating, it is basically when a Christian dates a non-Christian and then tries to convert them while they are dating them. The Christian knows within their heart that the other person is not a Christian, but deceives themself into thinking that it is still OK because ‘they believe in God’.

A female called TBS wrote to Trisha Ramos (Taken from Fish with Trish) with the following question addressing this point:

I’m dating this Muslim guy, and after my ex’s, which have been Muslim too, I thought I would never date another. I know what I want in my future husband and to have him believe and practice my faith as well. He is completely an awesome guy and I do love him. NOTHING like my past relationships. Ive made it clear I WILL NOT MARRY anyone who isn’t Christian. So he’s told me he loves me as well and would love to learn, look into Christianity and has been doing research on his own as well. Def. would love to bring him to services with me….Ive also questioned his converting.. if that’s what he chooses, I would not want it to be because of me solely and that he would want to on his own. I know he cant get to heaven though ME! My question. Do I wait? Or know this will end terribly and end it now? I’m just so confused and thought I could come to you for some advice! – TBS
Here is the reply which I know will answer many of you who find yourself in a similar position dating a non-believer:
Dear TBS,
<will end terribly and end it now?>>
My advice and the bibles advice: Don’t date him. But rather, witness to him and then keep your distance. If he is a true convert, invite him to church (to meet you there) and that is the only context in which I would see him. Then you’ll see if he is serious about the Lord. If he continues to go for a long period of time and demonstrates genuine repentance, it might be evidence that he is going because of the Lord and not just for you.

Remember, there is no such thing as “missionary” dating. We don’t date to convert. Don’t “date” him in hopes that he will get “saved”. Rather, get to know someone who IS a Christian and then marry.

You are not to be unequally yoked (2 Cor 6:14,1 John 1:6). So scripture is clear that you are to cut it off. Imagine a Christian spouse toying with the question, “Is it okay for me to commit adultery…maybe I’ll pray about it?” Scripture makes it clear that you are never to commit adultery. In the same way, scripture makes it clear that you are not to be unequally yoked with an unbeliever. You don’t have to debate or pray about cutting it off. God has given you the manual (the Bible) to guide you and to light your path (Psalm 119:105).

And also remember that you have a real adversary (The Devil) who
seeks to devour and destroy you. There is a spiritual battle going on here (2 Cor 10:5, Eph 6:12).

I’m so glad you have emailed. I hope this has helped a bit.

When I first became a Christian, one of the things that we were taught is that we had to be careful how we lived because if the rapture came while we were sinning, we would be left behind or if I died suddenly before repenting, then I would be lost. Many a Christian lived in bondage and in fear of sinning while Jesus returned. Then after a while, I began to think logically. Even though we are christians, we all still sin everyday. If I went by the logic that I was taught, that would mean that a lot of people would die in their sins and not be taken with Jesus when he returns because at any given point in a day, many christians would be sinning because of our fallen nature meaning that everything would have been in vain. Or they have a sinful thought (which one of us haven’t) and then some tragic happens before they had time to repent, for example, 9/11, they would be lost in the same way that an unbeliever would be lost. There would be no guarantee of our salvation and it would basically be a gamble. It made no sense and made the cross of Christ a bit useless and ineffective. My salvation would be based on what I do and not what he has done. That was until I fully understood what Christ actually achieved.

Christ’s death on the cross and his atonement for our sins was not just limited to the past and the present but also stretches into the future

There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit………..For they that are after the flesh do mind the things of the flesh; but they that are after the Spirit the things of the Spirit. (Romans 8:1,5)

I now understand that once I have repented and put my trust in Christ for my salvation, ALL of my sins have been forgiven. Past present and future. I do not have to live in fear that when Christ comes or when I die, I might be ‘caught in the act’ of sinning in one form or another. I can live with the freedom knowing that even if I have sinned ‘before I have repented’, I will not be condemned and I will not forfeit my inheritance in Christ. Note though that this applies to those that ‘walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit’. In other words those who have had a true and not false conversion and have truly repented.


I can hear many people saying ‘Well that’s OK then. If my future sins are forgiven, then I can live how I want’. If those are your thoughts and you’re thinking is how much you can sin and ‘get away with it’, then there is good chance that you are not truly born again and could be self-deceived. Because a true believer hates his sins and has NO desire to continue sinning. This is just one of the ways you can know if you are a true christian.

I always like to see it as me and Christ swapping jackets. Christ takes my ‘sinful’ jacket in exchange for His ‘righteous’ jacket. Christ in my jacket was punished at the cross and when I stand before God, He only sees the righteous jacket and therefore I am not punished because all my sins have been accounted for and taken on by Christ. WHAT A GREAT DEAL!!

For our sake he made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God. (2 Cor 5:21)

For more on this topic and a further explanation, click here

If you would like to know how you can have your sins forgiven, click here

Christian, please feel free to share this link with your family, friends and enemies

Related post:

Have you truly repented?

So you think that you’re a christian? Powerful testimonies from former false converts

How to make your child a false convert and the testimony of one such convert

Just say this prayer?

How to botch an altar call

Evangelistic Malpractice

True and False Conversion

Lets stop being so quick to call everyone a christian

How do you know that you are saved (that you are a Christian?)

The Judgment of Deception – Are You Deceived?

Posted: August 31, 2010 in False Doctrine, False Teachers
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As I have stated in my previous post, one of the frustrations that I have is when I speak to people who call themselves christians but their fruits reveal that they are actually a false convert or simply just self deceived. This could be for a number of reasons such as praying the ‘sinners prayer‘.

One of the two components of salvation is repentance (the other being faith).

In simple terms, true repentance means turning away from your sins with the knowledge that those very sins have offended God. To see a picture of true repentance, read Psalms 51.

Repentance is NOT just acknowledging that you have done wrong but you have no real intention of changing.

Repentance is NOT trying to justify it by saying ‘We’re all human. God knows my heart’ or ‘God is not through with me yet’

Repentance is NOT being sorry for what you have done because you have been caught and are going to be punished

Repentance is NOT just about changing your behaviour but having a changed heart

If there is no true repentance, then there can be no true salvation.

RC Sproul explains below what true repentance is